Wisdom From Medical Professionals

2006-12-17T21:38:00.000-08:00

I have spent a lot of time in the hospital these last few months and I thought I'd share some of the wisdom I have hear from the mouths of the nurses and doctors.

Consistency
"It's fine to shower with your IV pump"
"Don't shower with your IV pump"

"Don't walk around because your IV pump's battery will run out. Just stay in bed."
"I know it's 3 a.m. but you better go for a walk or you will get pnemonia!"

"We can draw blood from your port"
"We can't draw blood from your port."

"You're throat is probably sore because of the chemo drugs."
"You're throat is probably sore because you probably came in with strep."

Chemo Round #1
"We will just mix these two drugs in the same vein"

Chemo round #2
"We can't mix those two drugs, that's dangerous

Chemo Round #3
"Oh, we don't know if those can be mixed. You should call the company that makes them."

How to fix a mysteriously beeping pump:

Step One:
Turn it on and off over and over again.

Step Two:
Switch different tubing sizes to different pumps.

Step Three:
Threaten pump.

Odd Comments:

"You cut your hair! (said a nurse of my cancer patient bald head.)

"Oh, so your here for chemo...nothing bad right?"

"You look like the Baby Jesus!"

In Good Hands

"How do I do this?" ( a nurse asking me how to draw my blood).

Sassylicious

Wisdom From Medical Professionals